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Bumper Stickers

As Americana as the automobile. What self-respecting car or truck would be seen in public without some kind of degrading bumper sticker? For several years, this page has been a collecting place for all types of bumper stickers.

If you see one on your commute that is funny, whitty or clever, let us know and we'll post it. Just make sure it's clean and suitable for public viewing. Here's a list of some bumper stickers seen across the USA.

Impeach Hillary!

I voted for the non-womanizer.

Honk if your horn works!

If You Can Read This You Are Too Close

Life is Grand...Divorce is 20 Grand

If you are living like there is no God...YOU BETTER BE RIGHT.

There is no Year 1900 bug!

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

She's always late. Her ancestors arrived on the June Flower.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, and then used against you.

Honk if you love peace and quiet.

Despite the cost or living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

Save the whales. Collect the whole set!

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Cover me. I'm changing lanes.

On the other hand, you have fingers.

I brake for no apparent reason.

Forget about World Peace...Visualize using your turn signal.

We have enough youth. How about a fountain of smart?

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.

I love cats...they taste just like chicken.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

Born free...taxed to death.

The more people I meet, the more I like my dog (or computer, however you want to put it!)

Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.

Rehab is for quitters.

Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.

Work is for people who don't know how to fish.

I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain just to be a vegetarian!

If you don't like the news, go out and make some.

No radio - already stolen.

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

OK, who stopped payment on my reality check?

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.

Time is the best teacher; unfortunately it kills all of its students.

According to my calculations, that problem does not exist.

Some people are alive only because it is illegal to kill.

Reality? Is that where the pizza delivery guy comes from?

How can I miss you if you don't go away?

WARNING: Dates in calendar are closer than they appear.

Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot!

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

souport publik edekashun.

There are three kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't.

Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

Hang up the phone and drive, yuppy scum!


If you don't like my driving, then GET OFF the sidewalk.

I am an Honor Student in the School of Life.

More Guns - Less Lawyers!

I'm lost, but I'm making good time!

If at first you don't succeed ......cheat!

In Maine we call it a: 'Bumpa Sticka'

Hug your kids at home and belt them in the car.

So many idiots. So few comets.

I owe! I owe! So It's off to work I go!


Where are we going, and what's with this handbasket?

Visualize...whirled peas

A Working Man Who Votes Republican Is Like A Chicken Who Supports Colonel Sanders!


This truck is constipated, it won't pass anything.

I still miss my Ex (but my aim is getting better all the time)

Puerto Rican Lawyers are Sharks that rrrrrrumba!

If not for stress, I'd have no energy at all.

Help! My Reality Check Bounced

Please exit here to reload....

TV repairman do it Vertical & Horizontal

Life's a Beach... and then you dive!


Honk if you love Cheeses

A lot of streets in this city are named for my ex-wife...DEAD END

The best way to remember you wife's birthday is to forget it once!

I love my Country....but I fear my Government

Will the last person to leave the country, please remember to switch off the lights

Please don't steal this's already stolen.

Whitewater is over when the First Lady sings.

I got a gun for my wife...great trade.

Impeach the President - and her husband too!


Will be President for food!

Support Your Local Search and Rescue Team. Get Lost.

Hey Buddy, can you spare a mind?

I might be slow but I'm ahead of you.

Strip Mining Prevents Forest Fires!

Pro Choice - Abort Clinton Mid-Term!

Don't Laugh - Your Daughter's in Here

Only crooked politicians fear armed citizens

If you're not outraged, you are not paying attention

X-wife in trunk

I'm so broke, I can't even pay attention

My child was inmate of the month at the Santa Clara County Youth Authority

I do whatever the voices inside my head tell me to.

Jesus saves...he passes to Moses. He shoots...and scores!

My kid beat up your honor student!

Don't get any closer or I'll flick a booger on your windshield

I brake for absolutely no reason

My son is an honor student at Trenton State Prison

Some days it just isn't worth chewing through the straps

Friends don't let friends vote republican

I Brake for Tailgaters

Vegetables aren't food. Vegetables are what food eats.

Guns don't kill people. I do.

If they take away our guns, can we use swords?

I haven't been the same since that house landed on my sister

If you think education is expensive...try ignorance!

I shouldn't be at work today. The little voices in my head told me to stay home and clean my guns.

I'd become a pessimist, but it wouldn't work anyway

Kill your television

Fear the government that fears your guns

Hey, they can't fire me, slaves have to be sold.

I got the perfect second car...a tow truck.

My other car is a broom.

Make random acts of violets

The keys are in the ignition - right next to the Doberman!

Driver only carries $25 of ammunition

If I only knew grandkids were so much fun, I would have had them first!

Vote for wot's 'is name...I'll never forget wot's 'er name.

Mutate Now! Beat the Post-Bomb Rush!

Let an electrician check your shorts

Next time wave ALL your fingers at me!

I love my job, I love my boss, I'm self employed

Eat more mutton. 10,000 coyotes don't think so.

Death to Dysfunctional Sex Addicts from Arkansas.

Death can't be that bad. Noone ever comes back to complain.


Editors are always write!

If you can read this you are too close.

The grass may be greener on the other side, but both sides still need mowing.

Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.

How would we measure hail without golf balls?

One man's tape is another man's system.

Necessity is NOT the mother of invention, laziness IS.

I used to be schizophrenic, but we're all right now.

Life is sexually transmitted.

Black holes are where God divided by zero.

Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it.

You're so dense, light bends around you.

The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

We all live downstream.

How can I be overdrawn? I still have checks left.

Play the accordian, go to jail. It's the law.

Clinton happens and there's living proof.

If you can read are within phaser range.

Honk if you love honking.

I may not agree with your bumper sticker; but I will defend your right to stick it.

Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean they are not out to get you.

Ted Kennedy has killed more people with his car than I have with my assault rifle.

If you can't find your cat, try looking under my tires.

You drove me to can I ever thank you.

SSDD - Same stuff, different day

You toucha my truck...I breaka you face

Keep Maine green...shoot a developer

Politicians and diapers should be changed frequently - usually for the same reason

Break for could save your life

This is not an abandoned vehicle

Heck with the out for the children.

Enjoy our state, but when you leave, take someone with you.

Be alert...The country needs more lerts.

Driver carries no cash

I love animals...they are delicious

Animals are my friends, I don't eat my friends

Life is short. Be daring. Don't fold your underwear.

The older I get, the better I was.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

I want to die like my grandfather...not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

If Clinton is the answer, it must have been a STUPID question.

When it's raining cats and dogs, try not to step in any poodles.

I'm not a complete idiot...there are some parts missing.

Old hippies never die, they flashback.

Love is blind, marriage is the eye opener.

Someday my ship will come in and, with my luck, I'll be at the airport.

Earth First! We'll mine the other planets later.

He Had To Have Inhaled!

I seem to always be having a battle of wits with an unarmed guy

Work is for people who don't know how to play golf.

You want me to play a tune? I can't even play the radio.

Free Willie -- Impeach "Willie"

Starr loses -- Everyone from Arkansas has the same DNA

Driver carries no cash...He's married

Don't shoot, I'll pull over!

If it's tourist season, why can't I shoot them?

If we can take away guns to prevent murder, will we take away matches to prevent arson?


Conserve toilet paper...use both sides.

Be nice...I'm trying to like you.

I fight fire because the voices in my head tell me to.

Ignore this bumper sticker.

Friends don't let friends watch friends.

Gun control means hitting your target.

Any day above ground is a good one!

Dull women have immaculate houses

I'm so broke, I can't even pay attention

I think, therefore I'm dangerous.

Minds are like parachutes. They only function when open.

Borrow a child's imagination and...

So much evolution...So little progress.

A closed mind is a wonderful thing to lose.

Humans aren't the only species on earth...We just act like it.

Forget 9-1-1, Dial .357 Magnum

I may be fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.

I think...therefore I'm single.

A clean desk is the sign of a blank mind.

I brake for dogs...cats are on their own.

The weather is here. Wish you were beautiful.

Don't blame me...I voted for Bush.

My other car is a chair.

Honk if you've had sex with the President.

Pass quietly...Driver sleeping.

Cops do it on the cuff.

Sit down all day, sit up all night. What time does it change?

Automobiles aren't the only thing recalled by their maker.

When you're not looking at it, this bumper sticker says something else.

Anything that is not nailed down is mine. Anything I can pry loose is not nailed down.

Either there has been a discontinuity in the local space time continuum...or I'm late.

What if all the world farted at once?

Normal is overrated.

There is a fine line between sanity and insanity. I walk that line.

Look out! I drive like you!

Women are born leaders. You're following one now.

Welcome to our country. Now, learn to speak our language.

Misspellers of the world, UNTIE!

It's Valentine's Day...Kiss a fat girl today!

My Governor can beat up your Governor! -Seen everywhere in Minnesota

Please excuse the state we're in...It's just the state we're in.

Fight organized crime...Abolish the IRS!

Pass with caution...I'm a Postal Worker.

Honk if my kids fall out.

Don't steal...the government hates competition.

Get in...Sit down...Shut up...and hang on!

Will ski for food

If God had intended humans to smoke, he would have set them all on fire.

Off duty State Trooper following you!

Manuer Occurs

This car is held together by 2500 bolts but it takes one nut to wreck the whole thing.

N.A.V.Y. Never Again Volunteer Yourself

Unless you're the lead dog...the scenery never changes.

Shoot Pool not People.

Will Rogers never met Bill Clinton.

Dear Auntie Em, I hate you, I hate Kansas, I'm taking the dog! - Dorothy

Life is hard -- then you die.

Dyslexia Rules, KO?

Every home is a school. What do you teach?

Hug a logger - you'll never go back to trees.

Everyone has the right to be stupid, but you're abusing that right.

Illiterate? Write for help.

America...Love it or give it back.

Cops make house calls.

Cyberspace scares me so much I downloaded in my pants!

It may be old and slow but it's paid for and it's in front of you!

Acutally...I DO own the road!

Procrastinate NOW!

The meek shall inherit the earth...if that's alright with you

Let there be light. Move out of the way.

Not all who wander are lost.

Don't touch me...I'm not that kind of car.

I don't see you, so don't pretend to be there.

What happens to incompetent lawyers? They become judges.

God created diversity...Man created bigotry. Who do you trust?

Vote's easier than working.

Bluegrass...It ain't smurf dope.

Save animals...recycle roadkill.

Coolest car in town...powered by money.

I have a sexually trasmitted disease...Children.

Bad Cop......No Donut.

Good judgement comes from experience...experience comes from poor judgement.

Warning...I brake for dumb animals and stupid people.

The secret to success is to not mess with me!

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

Prozac...cause sometimes you feel like nut...sometimes you don't.

I was born ugly...what's your excuse!

May you live all the days of your life.

If it sticks, force it. If it breaks, it needed fixing anyway.

REALITY? WOW what a concept!!!

Confusion...isn't it marvelous, for without it, we'd all know what's going on!

A woman's place is IN CONTROL!

My wife...Yes. My dog...Maybe. My gun...Never!

My cow died so I do not need your bull

Self-esteem is good in moderation....Don't overdose!

Of all the things I've lost...I miss my mind the most.

If men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament.

If you object to forestry, try using plastic toilet paper.

DON'T EAT THE BIG WHITE MINT! -Sign in Motel toilet.

Is that your face or did your neck throwup.

Don't blame us, we voted for Jeff Davis.

Stop Continental Drift

If things get better with age, I must be approaching magnificent !!

My other car is a piece of crap also.

First Hillary, then Genifer, now us.

If a man and a woman from Arkansas get divorced, are they still brother and sister?

Keep honking...I am reloading.

Nixon in 2000 - He's not as stiff as Al Gore.

You - Out of the gene pool!

If they can send a man to the moon, why can't they send Clinton??

Being Stupid should be painful.

In case of Rapture CAN I HAVE YOUR CAR?


Brake For Moose...It could save your life.


Stop In-Breeding. Ban Country Music!

You're just jealous because the voices talk to me.

If I throw a stick, will you leave?

I believe in the Big Bang Theory...God spoke and bang there it was.

If you object to logging, try using plastic toilet paper.

Vegetarians do it with relish and wear a condiment.

Texas is a state of mind.

Al Gore is a risky scheme.

If you drove an F-16 you'd be home by now.

Cat...The Other White Meat.

Don't blame me. I voted for Gore...I think.

I bet you'd drive a lot better with that cell phone up your butt.

Old Nurses never die...they just lose their patients.

Bush vs Earth

What if the Hokey Pokey is what its all about?

I swear, the fence just jumped out at me!

I wasn't speeding, I was flying low.

Disgruntled employee of the month.

You can make footprints in the sands of time if you are sitting on your butt. And who wants to make buttprints in the sands of time.

Driver Carries No Cash...He's Married.

Invest in America...Buy a politician.

Confucious say: To be is to do. Aristotle say: To do is to be. Sinatra say: Do be do be do.

Do You Believe In Love At First Sight or Do I Need To Drive Around The Block Again

It's a car, not a phonebooth!

I don't suffer from insanity...I enjoy every minute of it!

If animals could talk, we'd all be vegetarians.

Keep on working. Millions on welfare depend on you!

I'd rather be tried by twelve than carried by six.

This car is constipated, it hasn't passed a thing in weeks!

If I'd known grandkids were this neat - I'd had them first!

Can't feed em? Don't breed em!

Gun Control means using both hands.

I'm Gonna Survive Even If It Kills Me

Cover Me I'm Changing Lanes

Hang Up and Drive!

Don't Honk Driver Trying To Sleep

Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.

Get In...Sit Down...Hold On...Shut Up

Caution! Driver Is Extremely Unstable

PMS...Punish Men Severely

Don't Rush Me, I Get Paid By The Hour

Stop Honking! You'll Wake The Guy In My Trunk

Get Off The Phone and Crash Already

God Grant Me The Serenity To Ignore This Traffic

I Had A Life...But My Job Ate It

I'm In No Shape To Exercise, hand me the Medifast coupons.

Brakes Are For Wimps

Shut up brain or I'll stab you with a Q-tip!

I am a blonde and I am noy dumb!

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting..."Holy Cow! What a ride!

Ask me about microwaving cats, for fun and profit.

My barrel horse is smarter than your honor student.

Upside down on a jeep: "If you can read this, roll me back over".

Don't tailgate or I'll flush. -On a Winnebago

Shut up and Bowl.

Pay for my gas...I'll go faster.

If we continue to buy imports, where will OUR children work?

Jeez if you love Honkus.

Theatre is life, film is art, television is furniture.

It's not the voices in MY head that bother me. It's the voices in YOUR head that bother me.

If eating animals is wrong...why are they made of meat?

RUN HILLARY RUN! (Democrats place on rear bumper, Republicans place on front bumper)

Jesus is coming....Look busy.

Fifteen grand and fifteen miles don't make you a biker!

Silly yuppie, trailer are for boats!

My other vehicle is a Kawasaki Nomad.

Fat people are harder to kidnap.

I'm so well-rounded I'm pointless.

G.P.S. Giving the driver someone else to fight with over directions.

40 isn't old (if you're a tree)

"Wide open till you see God, then brake." -Charlie "Ballast" Krogh

A closed mind is a beautiful thing to lose.

Paddle faster....I hear banjo music -Seen in Tennessee

If you're an athiest, thank God for it.